39-year-old woman leaves 43-year-old husband for European dream vacation when he drops the ball on planning, he resents her in return: "I'm frustrated and sad"

Author image for Briana Viser
Briana Viser • Writer and Editor
Jun 25, 2025 2:00 PM EDT

Hey there ladies and gentlemen of the internet. We all have a dream in our lives, a fantasy to fulfil. Something that keeps us awake and excited at night amongst the wee hours of twilight when we should be resting our minds and drifting off to sleep. Some people dream of landing that CEO job and rolling in tons of money, some people dream of their soulmate and sacred lover coming to fruition after years of solitude or bad relationships. And some people simply dream of traveling abroad, hitting the road or sky, to bequest themselves to a fantasy world in another land. 
 

Traveling is always seen through the eyes of envy, but I think it's put on too high a pedestal. For people who have been traveling, it's a lot less exotic than the place might seem like. With tourism and globalization these days, so many places are absolutely teeming with Americanized versions of tradition. 
 

In the story below, the protagonist is caught between a rock and a hard place. 

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  • 01

    AITAH for going on my dream vacation without my husband

    Cheezburger Image 10521238272
    via RossHelen / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    I (39f) have dreamed of going to Europe since I was a kid. I didn't have a lot of money and when I started working I worked my way
    via u/Spirited-Avocado5810

  • What an imbecile of a husband. But at the same time, didn't she know she married an imbecile? She should know her husband enough by now to realize that he's probably not capable of being solely responsible for himself, and maybe she should have communicated with him more about this. 

  • 03
    up in the ladder to earn a decent salary that would allow me to save and fulfill my dream. I am married and the head of my household, meaning, I handle
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  • 04
    90% of the expenses at home to support my husband (43m) dream of building his company and that leaves me with little money to save for anything.
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  • 05
    Finally after so many struggles, sacrifices and hard work, we are in a great position that allow us to have a fantastic, long trip to
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  • 06
    Europe, I have everything, free tickets (credit card points), decent work PTO (already approved), I
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  • 07
    Cheezburger Image 10521238784
    via RossHelen / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 08
    even learned French and Italian and have enough money for BOTH of us to enjoy the trip.
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  • 09
    Since my husband is not a US citizen, he needs a visa. We both knew this years ago (when we started planning) and I have been
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  • 10
    reminding him on checking what he needs for the visa so we can process it in time. Well, he just looked at the documents needed but nothing else. He kept
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  • 11
    postponing the process it until Feb started and it seems, now is a little too late. There are no appointments for any of the embassies of the Schengen
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  • 12
    countries until march starts and the ones we have contacted say it would take 15 business days to process the visa (3 weeks) and that would make it too late. My
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  • 13
    work leaves are approved, and since I rolled them over from 2023 I can't use them after March 31st, so I would loose the leaves
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    too (and might not get another chance to get that many days off). I am frustrated and sad (and angry) because he knew how
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    much I wanted this trip and also because is very much NOT the first time he drops the ball on leaving for later important things
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    or not completing things in time and then we both struggle. He told me to leave by myself but I think he will resent me if I do, but
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    Cheezburger Image 10521241600
    via TomasSereda from Getty Images Pro / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 18
    I also know I will resent me if I don't. So... AITAH for going on my dream vacation without my husband?
    via u/Spirited-Avocado5810
  • 19
    Sensitive-Delay-8449 If he truly wanted to go on this trip with you then he would have handled his business. Nta one bit. If you have a sister maybe she can go? Or your mom?
    via u/Sensitive-Delay-8449
  • 20
    Personal Regular_5... Who taught you that love had to be like this?
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  • 21
    Go on the vacation, enjoy yourself, and then use your free time to reflect on your marriage. You deserve a soft
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  • 22
    life full of love and a partner who contributes meaningfully to that. You are worthy.
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  • 23
    A good therapist can get to the root of why you'd stay with someone who refuses to put any effort into something that makes you so excited. You deserve a partner that lifts you up,
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  • 24
    someone who would never let you down this way. ΝΤΑ
    via u/Personal Regular_57

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europe marriage drama toxic relationships lol love family reddit thread Reddit funny money dating vacation
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